It seems that after Diana from Myths of the Mirror wrote her delightful post about her muse, the blogosphere is full of muses. You can read about Diana’s muse here: https://mythsofthemirror.com/2017/08/25/muse-for-hire/ – so far the scariest of them all.
I thought that I didn’t have a muse but this weekend I realised that I do. He is a general in the army and, boy, is he used to getting things done. He runs a very tight schedule and time for resting and doing nothing is obsolete. He wants things done, he wants them done right and he wants them done NOW!
My General Write is quite determined that he will be successful in life. He uses my weekends to further his own writing aspirations and he is a very tough task master. This is what he had in store for me on Saturday:
Saturday, 9 September
5.00 am – wakes me up to start creating Lady Sweet’s new look;
5.05 am – boots me out of bed and warns me that another breach of protocol will result in disciplinary action;
6.00 am – Admires the newly created Lady Sweet but comments that her arms are wrong;
6.15 am – Admires the new plump, pink arms Lady Sweet is sporting after having ripped off the previous ones and tossed them in the trash;
6.30 am – Decides it is time for me to run my bath and get ready for a Pilates session at 7.15 am. Exercise is very important for a healthy body and mind;
7.05 am – Shoves me out of the door and into the car – much against my wavering will;
7.15 am – Stands to attention while I start my Pilates class. Watches carefully to ensure that I do not cheat or miss a count;
8.15 am – Helps me back to my car and forces me to drive home quickly so that I can get breakfast out of the way as fast as possible;
9.00 am – Stands over me while I check my Blog reader and ensures that I respond properly to all comments on my posts and read all articles that look interesting and that may be vaguely helpful in the achievement of his writing goals;
9.50 am – Advices me to hurry up and leave as Mini- T and I have appointments at the hairdresser at 10.15 am and it is not polite to be late;
10.15 am – Hovers around the hairdresser, tight lipped and irritated, that this whole hair cutting and styling process is taking so long – Why did I need a haircut anyway, surely I could just trim my fringe myself with his nail scissors? As for Mini-T, his head should be shaven anyway!
11.30 am – We arrive back home. General Write is most annoyed that I have wasted so much of the morning. I am very pleased with my new hairdo. General Write soon insists that I sit down and write my blog post for Saturday morning. He subscribes to the “no time like the present” outlook on life.
12.30 pm – Blog post is incomplete an General Write is not pleased – how long should it take to write a blog post about a Book Lover’s Tag anyway? I am allowed to stop for lunch as the boys are hungry.
1.30 pm – My sister and her two children arrive unexpectedly. I am thrilled but General Write looks like a thunder cloud. “You have a post to finish”, he snaps. I sit and finish my book review post and the Book Lover’s Tag post while engaging my sister in stimulating conversation;
2.30 pm – Post my review on WP, copy it across to Amazon and Goodreads and share to Facebook.
2.35 pm – General Write is livered. I have made a complete hash of the Goodreads post and posted my review under the wrong book and author. He marches me back to Goodreads and Facebooks and sits, face like thunder, while I rectify my error.
3.00 pm – General Write agrees that I can spend some time baking with my nieces and boys. Taylor and I spend a happy two hours baking a cake and making figures out of fondant. The cake and figures are for an event later this coming week.
5.00 pm – My sister leaves with two happy children, each carrying plates of fondant figures. Luckily, Taylor did not notice what has happened to the cake. It has turned into a volcano with very high sides and a great hole in the middle.
5.30 pm – Peace has returned to the house and I have figured out what went wrong with the cake. I used self-raising flour instead of plain flour. I added baking powder as I didn’t realise I was using self-raising flour. Life lesson: to much raising agent results in an unattractive volcano look for a cake;
7.00 pm – Dinner has been cooked and cleared and now the General wants me to remake the cake. There is no time tomorrow as the whole of Sunday is already planned. At least this one came out well; really well actually and I am very pleased with it;
8.30 pm – General Write gives up for the day and Michael and I are left to read together and separately in peace until bed time. After Michael’s light goes off, I tumble into bed, dreading my 5.00 am wake up call on Sunday.
Robbie and Michael Cheadle are the co-authors of the Sir Chocolate Book series and Robbie Cheadle is the author of Silly Willy goes to Cape Town